Toni is a passionate and results-driven National Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach specializing in functional medicine, integrative health, and behavior change. As the founder and CEO of TrueSelf TotalHealth, she helps high-functioning, purpose-driven professionals and leaders reclaim their energy, balance, and joy through personalized lifestyle strategies rooted in functional medicine and mindfulness.
With over a decade of experience, Toni has supported individuals and groups through one-on-one coaching, group programs, and collaborative care in integrative and functional medicine practice settings.
She holds additional certifications from the Functional Medicine Coaching Academy in partnership with the Institute for Functional Medicine, as well as the Institute of Nutritional Endocrinology. Toni has also completed extensive coach training in Positive Intelligence (PQ), which allows her to blend cutting-edge science with mindset mastery. Whether she's guiding clients through sustainable habit change or co-creating wellness plans with healthcare teams, her “superpower” lies in inspiring lasting lifestyle transformation with compassion, clarity, and strategic support.
Toni's work is grounded in the belief that real healing goes beyond symptom relief—it’s about shifting beliefs, integrating simple (though not always easy), sustainable lifestyle practices, and tapping into your true self by identifying and leaning into your innate strengths.
Dr Ritamarie
Have you ever had a client walk into your office completely overwhelmed or maybe resistant to change? And I mean your virtual office as well as your physical office. You know that they need help, but they're kind of frozen. They're fearful and they're unsure of where to begin.
And what if the very first steps you take could be the difference between them giving up and them experiencing a breakthrough, the breakthrough that they want, the breakthrough that they deserve?
So have you noticed that when your clients start their healing journey, they can be freaked out? Yeah, we see that a lot, right?
They know they need to change. They've heard it on summits. They've watched YouTube videos. They've done it. They know they have to change, but they're scared. They're really scared. And I hear over and over, what if I can't do this? I'm afraid it's going to be too hard. And your role as a caring and compassionate health coach or practitioner is to help them build the confidence and the skillset to overcome the root causes of their imbalances so that they can thrive, which is why they're coming to you in the first place.
So I'm super excited today to be talking about this very important topic. In addition to excellent clinical skills, which of course help you identify what they need to do, as a practitioner, you need to be able to inspire, motivate and support them to actually do what it takes.
So I'm joined today by Toni St. Clair. So I am thrilled to be here. She is masterful at this process. We'll be diving into how to move clients from freaked out to fired up. Would you like that? I do. You'll discover three essential steps that will empower your clients to begin their healing journey with confidence.
So let me tell you a little bit about Toni. Toni is one of our successful NEPT graduates of our Nutritional Endocrinology Practitioner Training. She's also passionate and results driven, that's what I love about Toni, results driven, National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach. She specializes in functional medicine, integrative health, and behavioral change.
And I always say about Toni, she's one of these people that could tell you all the things you're doing wrong, but it doesn't feel like she's chastising you. She's just like, thank you, Toni. I'm going to do that. You know, it's just like she has this miraculous skill. And that's why I brought her on here.
She's the founder of True Self Total Health. And she helps high functioning, purpose driven professionals and leaders to reclaim their energy, balance, and joy through personalized strategies rooted in functional medicine and mindfulness. She has over a decade of experience, and she's supported individuals and groups through one-on-one coaching, group programs, and collaborative care in integrative and functional medicine practice settings. And she helps a lot of health practitioners to be their best in practice.
Clinical skills are vitally important, but it's also those other skills that we really need to be focusing on to get the results that we need. So she's got all kinds of certifications from our group, Nutritional Endocrinology Practitioner, the Functional Medicine Coaching Academy that works in conjunction with the Institute of Functional Medicine, and of course, the Institute of Nutritional Endocrinology, which is my program. She has completed extensive postgraduate training in positive intelligence, which allows her to blend cutting edge science with mindset mastery.
Whether she's guiding clients through sustainable habit change or co-creating wellness plans with healthcare teams, her superpower lies in inspiring lasting transformation with compassion, clarity, and strategic support. She is grounded in the belief that real healing goes beyond symptom relief. Of course, that's why we do what we do.
It's way beyond symptom relief. It's about shifting beliefs, integrating simple,
though not always easy, sustainable lifestyle practices, and tapping into your true self by identifying and learning into your innate strengths.
So Toni, welcome. I'm so excited to have you here. I've known you for the last what, 10, 11 years, maybe? A long time. And I just so admire what you're doing in the world.
Toni (04:39)
Thank you. Well, you know, I'm excited to play with you, because I fell in love with you. And I'm shamelessly going to say that from the first minute I laid eyes on you in that summit on what you do. And I said, I could take that information and be really great. But when you offered your program, I could say, I could be like a super person. So I've been in love with you for 11 years, and I love the work that you do, and how you are changing the face of healthcare, one practitioner at a time.
Dr Ritamarie (05:16)
And then you're doing that too. So that's what I, you, we need a world full of practitioners like you and like those who are dedicated to watching this podcast or listening to this podcast that we have this feeling, right? And I got that from you the minute I talked to you, that you have this compassion for people and this true desire to make the world a happier place. Because when we make the world a happier place, because people are healthy, we truly create a peaceful planet, which is what we all really want.
And I think that this facet of healthcare is missing for a lot of folks. They're just not getting the feeling that they're cared for. And that's what I want you to be addressing today. I have a bunch of questions and things I want to guide you through, but like most of my interviews, it probably will go down lots of different windy roads to get there. But what I want everybody to walk away with is, that feeling of confidence when people come in that, through our programs and through all the work that we do, you get how to identify the root causes and what kind of programs you can put them on and how to guide them.
But a lot of times what I hear over and over is, how do you get them to actually do it? I know what they need to do, but how do I actually get to do that? So tell me a little bit more about how you came to be interested in this motivational and inspirational work.
Let me just tell them a quick story. So we used to do in-person events, and we did them every year for our clients. And they were called Spring into Vitality, and we did them for about five years in a row. And we had invited Toni to come and do this talk on motivation and helping them to guide. But I'd never really seen her on stage before, right? She was very modest and a very brilliant but modest person.
So she got on stage and everybody, and all of us who know her, we were just sitting there with her. She was amazing. Like she was so inspirational. I said to her afterwards, you remind me of somebody like, Les Brown or Toni Robbins, you know, where it's like, you got the audience in that state. And so I really, really appreciate the work that you're doing.
Toni (07:33)
Thank you for the opportunity and thank you for seeing that in me, because that person you saw is a person that loves watching people not just feel better, but get well. And when I'm on a stage, it's not about me, it's about them. And that's how, but if you want to do one-to-one sitting down, having coffee, I may be a little shy, but on stage?
Dr Ritamarie (07:51)
You shine, right? I love it. So what got you into doing this? Like helping these people who are overwhelmed and resistant and what was a turning point for you?
Toni (08:04)
I think the turning point for me is that phrase that I said earlier. I was seeing people feel better but not get well. And I knew that I garnered all this information, but it just didn't seem like it was enough. Like we were treating symptoms, and I had enough information to know that that was not enough. There was some connection of the dots not happening. And then when I went to your in-person event, it was like, whoa, that's it.
That is it, endocrinology. It's a whole system of hormones and blah, blah, blah. And from that point forward, I knew I could really do the work that I want to do, which is to help support people in getting well, not just feeling better, not just symptoms. So it was just up to that point, not feeling like I was giving my clients their best, or my best.
Dr Ritamarie (08:52)
I love differentiation. You know, you can take an aspirin, and you feel better, because your headache might go away, but you're not really getting well, right? Unless you just got hit in the head, and that's why you have a headache, and you took an aspirin. It went away, and you're fine, but you really, without looking at those underlying causes, you're not getting well. And a lot of people, have you found, that a lot of people have blocks to actually taking the steps to get well, almost like I don't deserve to be well.
Toni (09:24)
Yes. Yes. I have found that I was a good coach, so I recognized it when I saw it. And I said, OK, they've got all this great information. So the information is solid. And yet there's still resistance. There's still fear. There's still an ability to take that next step. And what I learned was I had to have empathy, because we've all been there. And that's where I started. Like, I didn't say, I have a plan for you. I say, I get it.
I get it, and I tell a compelling story about either my own journey, or a client that I work with, and how important it is to be clear on why you want to do this. And it can't be for other people, right? And it can't necessarily be for something that isn't meaningful to you. What I do is, I drill down, drill down, drill down. So for example, and you've probably heard, I just want to be healthy. Well, what does healthy mean? And why do you want it? And then why do you want that? And then why do you want that?
And we finally went down to, so you really want to get well, so you can roller skate, because you enjoyed it as a child. That's good enough for me. It doesn't have to be big. It just has to be meaningful.
Dr Ritamarie (10:34)
Mm, I love that. And going and drilling down, I call it going down all the way to the basement and then even below the basement on the why, right? Why this, why, why, why? And when you finally get it, you know, the eyeballs like pop out of their head.
Toni (10:48)
Absolutely. But that's a form of self-love is acknowledging that you're worthy of that. I'm not judging that you want to get well, because you want to roller skate. Roll on. I just want you to get well. Yeah, exactly. The fear is that it's not a big enough ask for myself and it's not something I can hold on to.
So here's how you also get them to hold on to that vision. You don't judge. It is imagination. Or when was the last time you went skating? Oh, I was like 10 years old, 11 years old, and I felt the wind in my hair, and this is… Oh my, that sounds really awesome. You get to tell the story with them. And you say, okay, so how can we get you there one step at a time? Maybe just go to the rink, and you watch people roller skating, but we stay connected to the dream.
Dr Ritamarie (11:42)
The dream, their why, the big why. What do they want more than anything? And then when they're deciding between watching TV till late at night or getting a good night's sleep, they can think about, well, which is going to get me closer to roller skating and feeling good enough or having the energy to do this, that, or the other thing.
Toni (12:02)
Absolutely, absolutely. But you’ve got to be hooked into it, right? And they forget, right? They forget, because they have outside influences, or the mind will tell them, you can do other things, or I'd rather be doing this. And that's not what you would rather be doing. And that's when you have to walk with them through that dream.
And I will send messages weekly like, you know what? I saw this roller skating rink at so-and-so place and I thought, gosh, that looks like a nice place for you to visit. What do you think about that? If they forget to hold on, then I hold on with them until they can hold on by themselves.
Dr Ritamarie (12:37)
Okay, so you're not just asking them to get deep and identify, you're constantly reminding them about that, but not in a way like, you ate the chocolate cake yesterday, you think that's going to make you feel better and get your roller skating? You're doing it in a way of letting them see the dream, letting them keep it. I love that. I love that.
Toni (13:00)
Yes. And then let them know we're in this together. I'm into it like you are. I mean, I have vested interest in this dream as well.
Dr Ritamarie (13:04)
I love that. I love that. And that's probably something they haven't had, especially if it is something like when you were 10 years old, then you're 60, now. What are you talking about? Right?
When you share your dreams in real life, a lot of times it just gets scooted under the rug. Well, you're a grown up, now. Grow up. So really holding that place for them. I love that idea.
Toni (13:29)
But you have to create that safe space for them, right? That's where connection comes in. The first thing that we have to do is establish connection, not just with how smart you are, because we already know you're smart, right? You got through the program. We already know you're committed. You got through the program. But you have to show them that you're connected to them, that you're wedded to what they're wedded to, and asking really good questions about the way that you do that.
Dr Ritamarie (13:52)
You know, interestingly enough, I think it's a missing link, compassion and connection are the missing link in medicine now. We're starting to talk about oxytocin. And I think that that's one of the hormones, right? You learn about endocrinology and hormones, and it's such an overlooked hormone. Right. And we can create that oxytocin surge as we're working with people when we're connected to them, when we're really showing them we care.
Toni (14:20)
Absolutely, absolutely. So it's not as hard as most people think it is. I don't want to be intrusive, and you're not. You ask questions. Can I ask you a question? I'm curious about this. Or you mentioned so and so. And so they know that you have an interest in them. And you meet them where they are. Some people are very shy and they still may not have a safe container. So you meet them where they are.
Dr Ritamarie (14:44)
So when people start, they have fears, right? We talked about that at the beginning, right? What are some of the common fears when they're first introduced to something like nutritional endocrinology, and lifestyle, and they know things are going to have to change around here? What are some of the common fears you see?
Toni (15:04)
Fear of failure. It's a lot of information. It's a lot. I've even had a client, I printed out everything and then I realized it's a lot. It's a lot. So not knowing where to start and the fear of failure. And then the other side of that is the fear of success. Because if I do this, then I have to take responsibility for my life. And I can no longer blame it on a disease or a dysfunction. So it's both ends of the spectrum.
Dr Ritamarie (15:36)
Which do you think paralyzes them more?
Toni (15:42)
I'm going to say fear of success. Because there's a whole mindset shift that has to happen in order for you to get over that hurdle. And so once I figure out what end of the spectrum you're on, then I can support you with coaching. Fear of failure is easier.
Dr Ritamarie (16:00)
Yes, with encouragement. So tell me a little bit more about what to do when you find out that this person feels if they get well, these are the things they're afraid are going to happen or are going to be expected of them. How do you coach them through that?
Toni (16:15)
My gosh. You have to find that first of all, I know it sounds intrusive, but you have to ask those really hard questions. When was the last time you felt successful, in anything? And you bring about the innate strengths that got them to that feeling. Because the same strengths that make you feel successful at work are going to make you feel successful in handling your health. Connect them to their innate strengths.
So for example, one client said to me, last time I felt successful, and it was work related, I led this group of scientists. And we were responsible for X, Y, Z and the work had to be precise and crystal clear, and we kept making mistakes. But we kept going and got back in it. And I said, it sounds like you're diligent, but it also sounds like you understand the experimentation. Well, that's what you're doing with your body. You're experimenting, and you'll figure out what works.
One experiment at a time. And a failed attempt is not a failure. And she immediately connected to that at that point. Like, okay, I can do that. I can do that.
But leaning into their innate strengths is how you get them to not have a fear of success, because they can lean into something that's real, not something that's like, I'll never be able to keep this up, because I don't have what it takes, and I'm this, that's the other. You're a failure.
Fear of success, same things, opposite ends of the spectrum, but I coach it differently.
So with fear of success, you start with strength. You've got to let people know that they have strengths and then they will have success and success breeds success. I hope I'm making myself clear with that.
Dr Ritamarie (17:58)
Yes, and I'm a little confused. So bear with me. Like fear of failure is you're going to give me these things to do, and I'm not going to be able to do them. Right?
Fear of success is I'm going to do the things you tell me to do, and it's going to work, and I'm going to get my energy back and then people are going to expect stuff of me.
Toni (18:20)
Right, and I won't be able to sustain it. That's the other part too. Yeah, that's the fear of success, too. I won't be able to sustain it. And also, yes, other people will be expecting things of me. I need to expect things in my life. But that's again, we lean into those strengths. These are the strengths that are going to carry you forward so that you don't have to fear success. You don't have to fear being a fraud.
Or people think, my goodness, you took this program, and I thought you were going to lose weight, and you really didn't lose any weight. And what if they tell me that? But then what if I do win, and I do have success, and then, my gosh, now I've got to be responsible for maintaining it and keeping it on and keeping it off, or am I confusing?
Dr Ritamarie (19:04)
And now I'm thinner, and my overweight friends are jealous, and they're going to not want to hang out with me anymore. Or, my partner who's not in great shape, him or herself, is going to say, I don't like this, because you're getting attention from other people, right?
Toni (19:25)
Yes, all of those scenarios, and it's going to be different for different people. It's our job to suss that out for them.
Dr Ritamarie (19:35)
Yes, and help them to realize that, you deserve this,, you deserve this. And if they don't, people out there don't react the way you would like them to, and they're not celebrating your success with you, it's okay.
Toni (19:55)
Yes. Thank you for leading me in that direction. I got lost in the weeds there a little bit. And that's what makes you a great teacher, coach, and educator. This is why I love you so much. So again, all of those things come up. And of course, it's going to be different for women than it is for men, for mothers than it is for whatever.
Dr Ritamarie (20:105)
You're so sweet and I love you too. Thank you. We have a little love fest here, right?
Toni (20:10)
So we have to, again, just those two factions, we figure out, we drill down, after we figure out what side of the spectrum they're on.
Dr Ritamarie (20:24)
You know, interesting that we were having this discussion, and it just brought up something for me. I always would be like, hold back on my knowledge, my intelligence, right? And I try to make light of it, because I didn't want the other person to feel like less than. And I didn't want them, but then I realized, wait, I work hard for what I do, and I can guide other people to get what they want out of life. So I think what brings up for me is don't hold back on your gifts, right?
Don't hold back. If you are brilliant, if you realize how good you are at this motivational part and this coaching part, don't hold back, because you're afraid somebody's going to think you're hot, that you're too high on yourself or something, you know?
Toni (21:21)
Exactly. It boils down to love, like self love. You've been motivated by how you want to feel in the world, not how you want to with person A, person B, person C, person D. So we bring the attention back to you. We bring the spotlight back to you, and what you want most, and your innate strengths, and why you are an amazing person. You made it here. So you're already a miracle. So we just build from there.
Dr Ritamarie (21:50)
Yes, we're just going to go from there. And so many people, unfortunately, are raised to be modest, be humble, be in service to others. And a lot of people take that to an extreme, and they're in service to others at the expense of themselves. I don't know if you see that a lot, but I certainly see that a lot.
Toni (22:09)
Absolutely. And I'm glad we're talking about this, because the easier part is the fear of failure, right? We know how to support people in that, the harder part or the more challenging part, is to support people with the fear of success. So I'm glad we're spending time in that, so they'll recognize it when they see it and know how to address it. Now, what we don't do in the school of Toni St. Clair-Fish is trauma work. All right, if your stuff is deeply rooted in trauma, we'll have to put somebody else on the team.
Dr Ritamarie (22:39)
Right, because that's a whole other ball game. And you need to be careful about how you speak to people.
Toni (22:56)
I kind of ask questions from a positive standpoint. When was the last time you felt this way? Not when was the last time you felt really crappy about yourself? I'm always focusing on the positive, right? Because, if I get you down a negative hole, a negative thought hole, I can't pull you out. I’m not qualified to do that. So you have to be very, very, very careful.
Dr Ritamarie (23:15)
Yes, right. I think I agree with that. I think that when you can do that, like I like to ask the question, I always include this in a history taking. When was the last time you felt really well? You felt energetic, you felt positive, your belly didn't hurt every time you ate, or whatever other symptoms? And when people are asked that question, and they go back, we can often find something that was the antecedent, as they say in functional medicine, but the thing that happened right before it.
And I got one person down to when she was eight years old, and her parents had died, and she was shuttled off to her grandmother and then the grandmother died and like this, and she goes, it's been since then, right? This abandonment, this peace, and then we could work on it and get her the right, you know, support for dealing with those feelings.
Toni (24:06)
Absolutely. And that's most important to know your role as a coach and a practitioner and not go beyond it and to take people to the edge but never over. Again, asking those good questions. This is where we get them to understand the mind, body, spirit connection, right?
When we have those conversations with them and what makes you feel successful and then leaning into joy. I really can't even tell you how happy I am when I can get people to tap into joy and what made them feel joyful in life.
When was the last time you played? What is play? I don't know. When was the last time you did so-and-so? I can't remember the last time I did that. When was the last time you just had just pure joy? And that's also how you can get them to understand the fear of success and not feeling worthy. And I don't have the right to be joyful. But again, I help people ask the right questions. Because again, as a coach, you don't want to go too far beyond your scope.
Dr Ritamarie (25:09)
Right, right. Now that makes total sense. And, this joy thing, reminds me of one of the events. I don't know if it was one that you were at or not, but I was going through the different pillars of health, and I had them rate themselves. I put tallies up to see which areas needed the most help. And I was expecting it to be the food or the fitness piece. And by far, fun was the thing that most people had challenges with. And it blew my mind, how far away and how people have been taught that fun is something bad, or that's just selfish.
No, I have to focus on my health. I can't be focusing on fun. And when I give them an activity to do that is like, I want you to find one thing that you enjoy doing and do it this week. And then let's come back and talk about it. And the results are amazing.
Toni (26:00)
Of course they are, because they are in the right side of their brain of possibilities, where their wisdom is, clarity, all that good stuff, which we need to tap into or help them tap into before any change that's sustainable can take place. That's all part of connection.
This whole conversation we have, it's all about connection. Ultimately, the coach has to determine how to best connect with their client or patient or practitioner, because you can't do it by rote. I mean, there are some prompt questions that you can ask, but you have to trust your own wisdom, your own internal wisdom. Like this is about them, not about me. That I know enough, I don't have to overwhelm them with how much I know. It's a sit in the space of just allowing them to express who they are.
Dr Ritamarie (26:46)
I love it. So when we come up with a protocol, I don't like the word protocols, you know that. It's a personalized plan, but for lack of a better word, when you come up with a plan for somebody, and there's usually steps, right? We're looking at their stress, we're going to look at their sleep, we're going to look at their diet, they may have some supplements, there may be water that they have. There's all these things, and it could be complex, right?
How do you help them to make it simple and doable and break it down into steps?
Toni (27:13)
That's a good question. that brings us to the second C, which is communication. Managing expectations. So I'll tell them, hey, you can look at my background, but you don't see this magician. My magic wand has been in the shop. But what I can tell you is that healing is not linear. It is not. And you're going to expect plateaus and this, that's the other, because it's an experimentation of what's going to work in your body. But what we do have is a bell curve of what works in most people's bodies. It may not work in yours. So we're going to manage expectations.
Manage expectations. What does success feel like? Now, we also have to manage expectations for the practitioner, because the practitioner is going to be drawn to labs and all that. Manage expectations for yourself. Did they change their behavior?
Are they sleeping better? Manage expectations that way. I very rarely will talk about in six months, you should see a change in labs. We'll talk about the sustainable things. The plan that we have is to get you to a sustainable lifestyle practice that will help you to achieve wellness the way you want to. Focus on those pesky labs. So managing expectations. Having that conversation.
Dr Ritamarie (28:28)
And the labs are important, right? We don't want to make light, right?
Toni (28:34)
Absolutely. I'm working with a client now, and she's living for those labs. And I had to tell her, hey, you got a lot going on in your body, and we're going to focus on how you're feeling and then we'll see what the labs say. And of course, when the labs came, they were lagging a little bit. And I said, okay, so we now know we have some work to do. But how are you feeling, since you first started this?
I'm sleeping better. Cool. How's your digestion? Really good. It's much, much better. Okay. So we just got a little bit more work to do. We got a solid foundation now.
Dr Ritamarie (29:08)
Yes, yes. And you get to look at them and see, like I just had a consultation with someone earlier today even, and we'd gotten back labs, and she's been working really hard, but she had a couple of things happen along the way.
And so when she got the lab back, before I sat with her, she was kind of freaking out, because she saw a lot of reds and things like that. So my focus with her was to sit down, and let's talk about your successes first. And I said, look at this, this is better. This used to be here. This is better. This is better. Okay, this is great. You've done a great job.
Now let's talk about what we can do differently. What we're going to update in your program so that some of these other things come up, right? And so that made sense, cause she was like, I was looking at that test going, my God, all this work I've been doing and nothing, you know?
So it's really important to have a strategy where you don't go.
Okay, we just got your test back. Your CRP is 5.2. So we're going to still have a lot of inflammation. Let's work on that. No. Okay, oh, this got better. Look at this, it got better. You're feeling better.
Let's have a plan for how we're going to help these other things, because they may be silent, right? They may not be loud shouts, but we've worked on things to deal with the shouts, higher pitched in the higher intensity symptoms. And look, this is better.
Now we're going to work on the underlying things, so these little whispers don't become shouts.
Toni (30:37)
Absolutely. That's why it's important to have those conversations up front, because they may have an expectation that is not achievable. Right? So that's why you manage the expectations. So that's all important, before you even get to the next steps. So after you have a connection, you communicate reasonable expectations, make sure their expectations are within the realm of reality as well, because sometimes they're not. You try to get them back in.
And then the third part of it is now we co-create the next best step for you. So I always ask, what is the most ridiculously simple thing that you know you can do and feel successful? But it has to be meaningful, right? It can't be, I can do this, but it doesn't matter to me. And we play with that. So they may not know, so I'll offer three things, because it's still got to be their choice. And I'll say, well, based on what I'm working with other clients, these are three or four low hanging fruit things that they've done, and it's supported them and they still get to choose.
And then we talk about, why on a scale of one to 10, how confident do you feel? I feel like I'm a 10. Why not a six? Because I want you to tell me the story of why it's a 10. Because most times when they say it's a 10, because I have information, and I usually back them off, and I'll say, hey, what happens? Because I have a gut feeling, I'm thinking they're not a 10.
What happens if you don't do this thing that you said you were going to do? What do you do then? I haven't thought about that. So let's talk about it. Because you want to set them up with success when success happens sometimes in failed attempts. And that's why it's important to co-create the most significant but ridiculously simple thing that they can do.
Dr Ritamarie (32:22)
Yes, so they feel success, and they feel a difference, and they feel like they can take the next step.
Toni (32:49.275)
Yes, yes. In collaboration with other practices, here's what I found. Mistakes, won't say mistakes, things that don't work so well with their patients. They have all this information, they give them a wellness plan, then they give it to me and say, hey, make this happen. And most of the time when they meet with me, I said, have you read the wellness plan? No, because it's a lot. It's a lot. And so we go over the wellness plan and look at the three areas of it.
So it's going to be some sort of supplement, or it's going to be lifestyle, it's going to be whatever, or some other alternative practice or thing that they want them to do. And I'll say, okay, let's take them, break them down one at a time.
Which one of these do you think is most important? And so that they get educated. I said, lifestyle. Well, okay, you can do lifestyle. Let's start there. Or if they feel like they want to feel better, they can't sleep. And I say, let's start with what your practitioner said about sleep. Let's just do that one thing. Always with a lifestyle connected to it.
But I start where they feel like they can have the most success and where they don't feel overwhelmed. Don't look at the rest of it. Nothing to see there. We're just focusing on this area.
Dr Ritamarie (34:41)
Okay, so it's focusing, like pinhole focus on one area at a time.
Toni (34:46)
Yes. One area at a time, but I talk them through it. I don't say I have a plan for you. I say let's work together to figure out the best way to attend. And always again, I’ve already had the conversation like I know you're overwhelmed, because I am.
I'm like, wow, that's a lot. So here's the good news. Your practitioner knows so much that she gave you everything she knew. Here's the bad news. Your practitioner knew so much that she gave you all this information. And it's all useful. That's not all useful right now. Let's figure out together where we want to start.
Dr Ritamarie (34:18)
And they have to have success. Simple things, but meaningful. It's going to move the needle. One of the things we started doing about probably three years ago now is I created a program. Now I’m calling it Momentum Mastery. And it's basically where they get on. They're on a spreadsheet, and we'll have like, check, here's some lifestyle habits. And where are you now? I haven't started yet, I'm already in the process, or I've mastered it, and they get to check it. And then each week we do it as a group.
Each week they get to choose which one thing that you've started but haven't mastered yet are you going to work on this week? And when I just limit it, they'll go, wow, I want this one, this one, this one. I think we should start with one. Or if I know that they're smaller, and they could do all three, but most of the time it's like you only get to do more than one with permission.
And they do one and then they're successful, and they come back the next week. If they weren't successful, what got in the way? How are we going to do it? What are you going to do this week? And it really, really makes a difference when they have it broken down into simple steps. And it may just be water. I remember you telling me that story about a person who wanted some new advanced steps, and they were still drinking half a cup of water a day. And you're like, I'm afraid not. I'm afraid not. Let's master this one.
Toni (35:40)
Yes, that's a great example where someone is like, you know, if you could just help me with this bloating, I'm like, have I got something for you, water, water, and maybe chew your food a little bit. But yes, I can hear the enthusiasm and excitement as you were talking about your program.
Can you imagine? You feel an excitement sharing with them how they'll feel on the other side of that just after one week or after one experience? And that's what we really want to do is one experience at a time. Right?
Keep them on the experience of feeling successful and no shame, blame, or guilt, because there is no failure. In my court, there are failed attempts. So you're either winning or learning, and you're still learning if you're not winning. It's still a win. So we are removing the shame, blame, and guilt and giving them permission to have a failed attempt, because the body is complex and complicated.
Dr Ritamarie (36:36)
And you're going to learn, I think, from a failed attempt, because you get to remember it, you get to go, what did I do? And when we pull it apart and say, OK, what caused that to fail? What got in the way? How do we remove those obstacles? Then they have an ability to follow through on the more complex things.
Toni (36:54)
Get them to share that. We have to remember, we’re setting that connection, because there has to be no shame, but aim of guilt. The connection.
So I'm going to give an example. Even recently, this client says, you know what, I really need to sleep. We knew she needed to sleep, and she had a plan. And then when she came back to me a week later, I said, well, how'd that go? And she says, you know what? I was up all night scrolling and scrolling the internet and all that. And I said, you know what? That happens. I get that. What were you hoping to accomplish from that?
So we didn't talk about the failing part of it. I want to get to the root cause of what got you there, so we can reverse engineer it.
And along the way, I get that. I understand. I've been there. I understand. You know, so we can do this one of three ways. We can go into the shallow end of the pool, the middle of the pool, or deep into the pool. Because it's an addiction. This is an addiction now. So we've got to handle it like that. And then eventually it felt better.
I mean, it's still your choice. And she said, I'm going to start at the shallow end of the pool. And what does that look like for her? Instead of five hours, I'm going to do one hour. How are you going to make sure you stick to that one hour?
Right? Well, I'm going to actually put the device in another part of the room and go to bed. So she had a plan for success, but we had to understand the motivation that was getting her there and understanding that it's an addiction at this point.
Dr Ritamarie (38:22)
You know, I call it when people are having trouble with sleep, I say we have to distinguish between insomnia and voluntary insomnia. And insomnia is when you get into bed, and you either fall asleep, or you wake up multiple times and can't get back to sleep. But voluntary insomnia is when you're sitting up scrolling, or you're not getting into the bed to put yourself in a position where you can be successful. You can't be successful sitting up and doing this, right? So I call that voluntary insomnia.
Toni (38:54)
Voluntary insomnia. Exactly. And you normalize it, because it's designed, the algorithms, they’ve got you in a choke hold. It's designed to get you there. So now what do we do to help you regain control over your life? We put the device down if you don't want to go cold turkey. And some people have, once I explain how sleep connects to this, connects to that, connects to that, they're like, okay, I'm more wedded to that.
But if it has you in a chokehold, we first got to get you off the chokehold. We got to get the chokehold off, the addiction. And I guess what we're saying is every case is different. So you can't assume or make assumptions. All you’ve got to do is…, and you really need to …. Again, I learned that from you. I just took that thought process of root cause and applied it to coaching.
Dr Ritamarie (39:49)
And you know, there is no one root cause, right? That's what we have. That's a myth, right? There's root causes. And we have to create synergy in this chaotic metabolic system. And what's causing that? A lot of it is the stuff out here that we're doing. And some of it is some stuff inside where specific areas are not working properly. And we work on whatever protocols and supplements and herbs and various things and meditations. But a lot of it just starts with behaviors.
Toni (40:25)
It does, it does. And I will tell you this, but my clients laugh at me and say, you could find positivity in anything. So even when something like that happens, I was like, wow, what a great opportunity. You learned something about yourself. Aren't you excited about that? Well, I learned that this, that, and the other. I'm like, you know, some people don't even get to that point. There's so much in the addiction or on autopilot, but you were able to go back and reflect.
I did that because of ABC. I said, I am celebrating and applauding that now you can do the happy dance, and they're looking at me..
But then they start to get on board with it, because energy is contagious. And I don't want you to be wallowing in shame, blame, or guilt. I want you to wallow in love, and I did my best, and I can do different things. I can make a different choice, but I now have self-awareness. I’m not a bad person, I didn't do a bad thing.
Dr Ritamarie (41:20)
Yes. Yes, absolutely. That's what I love about you is I always tell people that you could tell me all the things I did wrong, but in such a way that I'm like, wow. Yeah. And if somebody else could do that in such a way that you're defensive, but no, it's just, it's nurturing, right? And that's what we have to create for clients is a nurturing environment where they're not afraid to tell you that.
Toni (41:50)
I love that. It is love. And don't be afraid. Like I said, I fell in love with you. I'm not ashamed of that. Don't be ashamed to fall in love with your patients, or your clients, and let them fall in love with you. Make it be about love, because people that use love, you always see them with potential. You always see them in the light that they want to see themselves.
Until they can see it, you see it for them. That's what I do. That's what you do when you love people. Just saying.
Dr Ritamarie (42:22)
That's it. So start your coaching with love, and this will give you permission if you're interviewing a new potential client, and you just aren't feeling it. And you just don't think that you can get in a place where you are loving on them. Then you can refer them to someone else, right? You don't have to take everybody on if you're going to have a hard time loving on
Toni (42:50)
That's true, because some people are a mirror for you, a mirror for what you still need to heal in yourself. I've had one or two like that. And I'm not ashamed. I'm not going to be the best coach for you. But my friend here will handle it really well.
Even in the information I'm giving your audience, there are three mindset traps that coaches fall into, or practitioners. And if you can say, I'm not doing these three things, then it's usually just a matter of you just being comfortable and waiting for things to unfold naturally. Asking good questions.
So some people are very slow burners. They are. I am a slow burner. Because when you're talking to me, I do think I have good instincts, but I might be giving you the stink eye until I'm 100% sure. So part of that is how consistent are you going to be in your messaging to me?
Are you going to focus on what I want to focus on, or what you want to focus on? All these things, that safety bubble, that's how you create that safety bubble.
I'm not a magician. My superpower is being the best human being I can be. In every occupation I've had, that has been what I said. How can I be the best human being I can be and get out of my own way? It's not about me, don't take anything personally. I don't have to show people how smart I am, right? And I meet people where they are.
Dr Ritamarie (44:15)
I love it. And it comes across like people just love to be in your presence, and they feel good about you, and they feel good about the love and the support you give them, and they feel like they don't have to hide from you if they've not followed through. It's just a matter of laying it open and being the best they can be.
So when new practitioners come, and they're starting out, and they're feeling overwhelmed by how much there is to learn to support clients effectively. What kind of advice would you give them?
Toni (44:48)
So I can tell you my own experience was that I had a ton of information and then I had clients that were at different place. All I have to be, and I think I've learned this from you, is one step ahead of them. That's all I have to be. So if digestion is the issue, I'm going back to my notes. Yep, and I'm going to learn that, and I'm going to regurgitate it and be able to express it with confidence. I don't have to know thyroid right now. This person is not presenting for that.
So you take the information and you make it situational. That's what I would tell you as a new practitioner. You're just like a patient.
Dr Ritamarie (45:24)
I love that. And because what I see from that is every patient or client is an opportunity for you to improve your skill set in that area. So people will come to me and say, what do you know about blah, blah, blah, blah, blah-itis? And I'm like, it's an inflammatory condition, because it ends in itis. Beyond that, I don't have all the details, because I haven't worked with somebody with that condition. But I will happily review it and look into it, but I know that there's inflammation involved, and I sure as hell know how to help people reduce their inflammation.
Toni (46:02)
There you have it. And that is exactly right. I think this one client, you probably know about her, that had the cancer and all that. And I said, look, I know a lot about the justice system. I don't know about cancer. But what I do is I have a group of practitioners that I can talk to that can help me support you in the best way to address this. And that's what I did. I came to the group, and she had confidence in me, because I didn't fake it.
I said, no matter what happens with you, you call it disease A, B, C, and D, you still need support with lifestyle. You still need support with basics, and I can get you through that. I feel confident.
Dr Ritamarie (46:39)
Absolutely. And that goes back to not overstepping your bounds and your scope, right? But we all have the skill and training to help people with the basic lifestyle. I mean, unless you're just listening to this off the street, and you're not a practitioner, you don't have that skill and training. At least everybody that comes out of our institute or takes our programs or has gone through any number of coaching programs, the basics , and we always have to go back to those basics, right?
And so when you're thinking about this fancy autoimmune disease with some name you can't even pronounce, what's the basics?
And when people come in and say, I don't know what to do. Have you asked about their food? Have you asked about their hydration? What's their stress level like? Are they eating gluten? Are they exposed to heavy metals? Do they live in a moldy environment? You're asking all the basics, how are they sleeping? How much stress? You know what I mean? All the basics. And that's where we used to start. So as a new practitioner, you start with your basics. You're going to learn it all.
People wonder, how do I look at a lab and within a few minutes kind of have an idea of what's going on? It's 33 years of practice reading labs. That's what it is. I didn't know this 33 years ago. I had to sit there with my books, and I still pull out my books. I still pull out the books to go, I don't do that test very often. Let me just see where the nuances are.
So you always have a learning mindset, and I love this person enough to do the work it takes to figure it out and not think in terms of, they only pay me for one half hour visit. It's an investment in them, but it's an investment in your education, right?
Toni (48:21)
Absolutely, absolutely. The other end of that spectrum is, because I knew my worth, and I did not sell my services for less than my worth. And then you could get into that, well, now I've got to prove that I know so much to justify that freedom. And no, you don't. They're paying you for change. They're paying you to help them make changes in their lives. And so you're worth every penny. You don’t have to show them how smart you are and overwhelm them with information so that you can figure it. They already feel they're in your seat, they're already convinced that you can do the work.
Dr Ritamarie (49:06)
Thank you so much. This has been awesome. I'm going to do a quick summary and make sure I got all the points. Okay. So the way I look at it from what you've said, the steps that we can utilize to get this change happening. So for lack of better word is building rapport. We have to build rapport. We have to manage expectations and then whatever we're giving them to do or to not do or to take or whatever. It's breaking it down into doable actions, simple, doable actions that they can feel successful at. Anything else? Did I miss anything?
Toni (49:38)
Yes. I would add to that last point. It can be simple, but it has to be meaningful, right? So for me, meaningful means not just tied to their why, but meaningful. Okay, if we're suggesting water, which water is good for everybody, but imagine not being bloated, because you drink water or having a bowel movement, because you drank enough water to support that. So it has to be meaningful on two fronts, right? It has to be meaningful in terms of the why, and it’s going to create some sort of change.
Dr Ritamarie (50:08)
So tell us where people can learn more about you and connect with you.
Toni (50:12)
True Self Total Health. And I think the link is going to be somewhere in your notes. And also there's a link to a free gift, because we talked broadly about what to do, but then I've always left a place for how can I apply that? So I gave you all some prompts that I use in each of those three areas that I find successful. And I hope that you find it successful, too.
Dr Ritamarie (50:38)
Awesome, awesome. So we'll have the link in the show notes, and you can go and check it out. And I highly recommend that you download her free gift, because she just has this ability to see beyond the basics and help you to help people in a much more profound way, which is what you're here for, right?
So we are all here, because we're practitioners who are focused on root causes and helping people to truly get well, not just symptom suppression and disease management, like that's the outdated medical system.
And we've dedicated our lives to empowering people to take back control of their health. You left a lucrative career in accounting with the IRS and those kinds of things. I left a lucrative career in computers, not because I was out to make it a lucrative career here, but it was more to help people. And that's why I do what I do tirelessly. And you do what you do tirelessly and everybody who’s listening.
That's what we're dedicated to do. So we're the kind of practitioners that are dedicated to getting to the root cause. And if you're ready to take your practice to the next level, check out all the links that we'll put in there, and I'll put links to other resources that you can get to expand and visit our website at INEmethod.com. Powerful insights, powerful breakthroughs. That's what we're here to do. So thank you so much for all of this.
Check the show notes, you'll get the links to Toni's resources, to my resources, and together let's continue the movement to reinvent healthcare. And until next time, shine on.
What’s Inside This Episode? Why some people don’t respond to “perfect protocols” and what may…
What’s Inside This Episode? The sobering statistics that sparked these teens’ mission and why the…
What’s Inside This Episode? The distinction between the “disease team” and the “health team” and…
What’s Inside This Episode? What metabolic health really means and where it goes wrong The…
What’s Inside This Episode? Why fasting equals liberation The shocking connection between hydration, mucoid plaque,…
What’s Inside This Episode? How blind trust in the healthcare system can lead to missed…
This website uses cookies.